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Gotta ask yourself the question - Where are you now?
5 May 2010
By Paul White
At the risk of becoming monotonous, there were seventeen Referrals in the glass this morning, which is becoming the Chapter's cruising speed.
We welcome back Elizabeth Hicks of Irwin Mitchell Solicitors (nice pens!), who is awaiting the outcome of her Big Trial. There is every chance that this case may become a celebrated one, which lays down the rules for future Court Cases.
Stephanie Lunn of Lunn Human Resources was in fine form this evening, sorry, morning, where by far her most extravagant claim was that I am now the "Thinking Woman's Crumpet", on account of that marvellous picture of me, taken by Adrian Nettleship, in a thoughtful pose. Commas can change meaning, as we know from "Eats Shoots and Leaves", so I am careful of their arrangement in the previous sentence.
All this attention is way out of the Comfort Zone for someone as diffident as myself, but I was once more under the glare of the Spotlight, when Stephanie invited me to put the finishing touches to Liza Kent's vague recollections of Barry Neil's brief for this week's 60 Seconds as being "something to do with the Election". At moments, I have to fall back on my SAS training. They taught me how to think quickly and act faster, overcoming great odds to win in the end. They're a great Airline!
My brief therefore was that of a "Party Political Broadcast" and there was an awed hush in the room.
Fortunately, I was able to draw upon the judgement of the Scientifically Selected Focus Group of Floating Voters assembled in the next room, who by pressing different buttons on their pads, were able to produce the "worm", a real-time indicator of the reactions of the Group to the Pitches they were hearing. Elizabeth Hicks (D.I.V.O.R.C.E Party) and her policies struck a chord with the panel, as did Helen Wakeman-Jones's (The Party Party), where she promised help to the Brewing Industry.
The Electorate, however, is clamouring for change at "Westminister" (sic), which is why the Focus Group awarded a landslide victory to Daniel J Fealy (Get Plastered! Party), whose Manifesto includes a pledge to clean up Parliament. There are far too many boring old white walls there, with poor insulation.
Poor old Kevin Rudd got himself into a Spot Of Bother in Australia, where he automatically follows everyone on Twitter, who choose to follow him. This is a storm in a "D" cup, as I'm sure that he has never actually clicked through to "LatvianGirl's" profile to see her nude photos (no Membership required), while no-one in the Office is looking, say at Lunchtime, when there's nobody about anyway. Perhaps we need to update the old adage that one is "judged by the company one keeps" to one is "judged by the Followers one does not delete".
Malcolm Forbes delivered a coruscating ten minute Pitch, where he remembered his name, Company and where he was this time. I celebrate Multi-Culturalism, as I think that it enriches our Society enormously and would vigorously oppose any Political Party that advocated Forcible Repatriation back to Dundee, or a cap on Regional Immigration, especially to the London Area. Large parts of the economy would collapse were it not for these Migrants, who should not be confused with Asylum Seekers. The fact is that many English Workers do not wish to go into Web Design, for example, so we rely on Migrants to keep the country moving.
Here's hoping that Alan Patient of Alan Patient & Co. Accountants does actually commission Adrian to take some Headshots at his office, taking some of the heat off me for a while.
Whatever your political leanings, do get out and vote on Thursday. I will be voting "tactically" this time, not "tactilely", which got me into trouble with our MP. She still hasn't forgiven me. Sorry, Anne!
Vivat, Crescat, Floreat!
Permalink: http://www.bni-elite.co.uk/BNIMeeting5thMay2010 (copy'n'paste)
Comments (4)
At 05:37 PM on 05 May 2010 by Author: MadsWrote: I suppose that next week we'll need to deliver a victorious but humble 60 seconds to illustrate the outcome of the election?
I'm with you on Danny plastering Westminster - maybe we can get the "Party Party" to design the posters?
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At 07:32 AM on 06 May 2010 by Author: Lisa KentWrote: http://ow.ly/1GOBz
And a huge well done to Linky Trott of Edwin Coe for her big win in the sexual harrassment case she was working on!
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At 10:18 AM on 07 May 2010 by Author: Richard T. O'BrienWrote: Yes well done Linky, I can sleep soundly at night knowing you'll be on my side if anything kicks off.
Favourite bit of the blog - the SAS comment, v amusing
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At 02:20 PM on 15 May 2010 by Author: Stephanie LunnWrote: Well done Linky Trott of Edwin Coe for winning the big case. The champoo is on me.
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