The Elite Blog

Will you stay with me, will you be my love, among the fields of Bali?

21 April 2010

By Paul White

Stephanie's reign as Chapter Directeuse saw her Serfs bringing in a Tribute of twelve Referrals this morning, bowing and scraping on the way up to her Throne, depositing the Referral Slips before her and bowing and scraping on the way back again. It is not Court Etiquette to turn one's back on God's representative on Earth.

May I at an early stage in the proceedings welcome Holly Aird back to the Blog? Do tarry awhile, while I think of something to say about Richard O'Brien, Stephanie's Left Hand Man.

Adrian Nettleship, our Photographer, surprised me and was in danger of frightening the horses, by producing a life-size picture of me from our Photo Shoot of last Friday in Leyton. He insisted on passing it around the Chapter, with many wrinkling thier noses and passing it on swiftly to the unfortunate to their left. How much better to have done a blow-up of Linky Trott of Edwin Coe Solicitors instead? Linky is shortly to embark upon a nationwide sell-out tour of Employment Law-related seminars and a new headshot is needed for the Tee Shirts. Even as I write, harrassed Hotel Staff are checking that the TV sets in her room and those of her Entourage are securely fastened to the tables.
When I mentioned to her that Linky is photogenic, I mean that from whatever angle a picture may be taken, it would look good and be recognisably Linky.

Sarah Lloyd-Hughes of Go Ginger! Training and Coaching gave a typically entertaining ten minutes in which the stars were, well, everyone in her audience. If you can get along to one of her gigs do try to beg, borrow or steal some tickets. She prefers you to buy them, however.

As the Winner of last week's "Langue D'Argent", best sixty second pitch award, I had the honour of judging this week's winner. From my chosen theme of "Jim'll Fix It", which initially failed to ignite the enthusiasm of the Chapter, the standard was very high, making the choice extremely hard. Adrian's mode of reference to the world is unsurprisingly the visual one, being a Photographer. He remembers Sir Jimmy Saville for the Mechanical Chair of the Show, the image of which my Subconcious has surpressed, in a way to help safeguard my sanity. Lisa Kent of LK Training recalled the show in terms of the Theme Tune, presumably as that was all of the show that she was prepared to watch. Sarah won the coveted award for adapting the Theme Tune as well, but in greater detail.

Darryl Buchanan, BNI's Head Honcho for London and Birmingham, attended this morning's session, before heading up to his HQ in Rickmansworth, for a meeting with Stephanie as Chapter Directeuse and Mads Nybo Jørgensen of MacMillion Ltd for what is known euphemistically as a "full and frank exchange of views". If you see a mushroom-shaped cloud north-west of London, it's not the Icelandic Volcano! The electro-magnetic pulse can also cause cars and computers not to run, so do have a Contingency Plan ready this afternoon.

That reminds me of a rude joke, for which I will not (yet) tell you the punchline: "What's the difference between that Volcano and Cheryl Cole?"

This time, Mel Kenny of Radcliffe & Newlands Independent Financial Planners was actually present to collect his Perfect Attendance Award, mainly because of the Alarm Clock, which I gave him last week.

A thoroughly enjoyable meeting then, where Malcolm Forbes managed to remember both his name and that of Regenesys, his own Company. Progress indeed.

The only drawback was that Helen Wakeman-Jones, our Events Organiser, was unable to attend this morning in person. I have a great Slogan for her: "Look you! I arrange crack...ing parties, me. Oh yes indeed!" That would work well on a Tee Shirt, with a nice picture of her. All her pictures are nice, of course!

Vivat, Crescat, Floreat!

Permalink: http://www.bni-elite.co.uk/BNIMeeting21stApril2010 (copy'n'paste)

Comments (4)

At 01:32 PM on 21 Apr 2010 by Author: Adrian Nettleship

Wrote: So what is the difference?
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At 10:32 PM on 21 Apr 2010 by Author: Mads

Wrote: No Rickshaw visits or mushroom clouds in the North, but Sue kindly held my hand at her offices whilst I tried to blow ash (Stephanie did not take part) - next time I'll go and watch IMAX "How to tame a Dragon" or "Iron Man II" instead - I'm sure it is a much more valuable use of time.
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At 05:51 AM on 28 Apr 2010 by Author: Stephanie Lunn

Wrote: Holly Aird - you mean that same lass I went to school with?
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At 09:17 AM on 28 Apr 2010 by Author: Linky Trott

Wrote: The 'nationwide sell out tour' starts and finishes at Lincoln's Inn on 26 May - all are welcome. http://www.edwincoe.com/storehouse/seminars/EdwinCoeSpringSeminars2010-SocialNetSabotage.pdf Social Net Sabotage.
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